Happiness♥

I've noticed that this year has been the most weird year ever. I've been getting sick and hurt nonstop. I have no idea if it's something I'm doing or if my body is just weak. The beginning of the year I had been getting serious back pain. I think maybe it was because of soccer but the pain started getting worse. Good thing I had insurance and was able to get a physical therapist. Second I had huge stomach ache that made me feel like crawling in hole. I went to the hospital and was told a had a stomach virus. I toke an enormous amount of medicine to get it over with. Third I got a sty that was bothering me so much it became annoying. After that I started seeing fuzzy and decided to go to the eye doctor. Therefore, the eye doctor told me that I needed glasses. Then I joined Softball and during a game was rammed into by a player who knocked me down by the feet and so face first went down. Then while my legs were in the air my hip slammed on the ground. I couldn't move and my back felt even worse but I ignored it. I felt like I was paralyzed but I went home and my mother messaged me even if I was in pain. Then that passed and I got hit in the face by a softball to be exact in the mouth and broke my tooth inside my gums. The whole week I was at the dentist because it was that serious. Still recuperating from my tooth and lastly I managed to get pink eye which made my eyes itchy, watery and pitch red. Recuperating from that now to. I know theres more I just do not remember right now.

I was thinking to take pictures of the class and Ms. Carney but she was not there when I went to visit her. I also needed to talk to her but she was absent. Good thing there is emailing. Today I checked my emails and I saw that she had emailed me that she was not going to be there on Monday for me to visit her. The bad thing about emailing is that I do not have it on me twenty four seven. The good thing is that I was able to contact her and she said to me if I wanted to teach a lesson to the class. I was surprised that she offered because I was thinking about it but was not totally sure about it. I replied that I definitely wanted to teach the class but would need her help to be able teach them. I know I will probably be super nervous but I'll get over it.

Anayelly(FRESHMAN) has been telling me in Spanish class to watch some show called "Boys before Flowers", which I absolutely love and can not get enough of. Jan Di(main character) is a poor girl who delivers clothes to people from her parents' dry cleaners. One day she has a delivery to Shinwa High school which is the most expensive and high class school in all of North Korea. As she's delivering, a boy is seen on top of the roof of the school, saying he is going to commit suicide. While Jan Di is looking up at the boy on the roof a girl is talking about how the boy on the roof was Minh Ji huah, which is the person she has to deliver to. She ends up saving his life by catching him while he was throwing himself off the roof. Jan Di ends up being a hero and is asked to attend Shinwa High school with a full scholarship. Jan Di does not want to attend but is forced to by her parents. On the first week of Shinwa High Jan Di is made fun off and bullied by the richest boy and leader of the F4 group. The F4 group consists of four handsome rich popular boys who run the school. Jan Di's life becomes a nightmare. I will not tell the rest because I have to see the rest of it. I love this show.

Some of the work I've been doing towards my project was to search some type of different teaching methods on youtube and also videos that show how teachers use technology in the classroom. I have also been searching on the web different types of ways I could make my brochure more interesting and eye catching. I like art very much and I want to make my brochure super nice. I sketched a couple of designs and I can not seem to choose what exactly it is I want to present as my brochure. My friends, friend is a teacher for kindergarten and she gave some ideas on how differently kindergarten is sort of taught differently from middle and high school. Rose uses mostly hands on learning. Where they have to actually physically learn their ABC's and colors. For example using blocks that have different colors on them, stuffed animals that start with A or B etc. Middle school is more of visual and listening. High school is mostly notes and hearing the lesson being taught. I have much more to do but I'm getting there.

Yesterday In Ms. Carney's class the students were taking notes on the usage of seen vs saw. I had forgotten how to distinguish which one to use when saying what I have seen something. I thought it was good that the notes consisted of when not to use seen and when to use saw. On the notes they were writing on piece of paper they were using which consisted of four lines. One line had an X and the other a Check mark. The ones that had an X on it would be a bad example of seen or saw and the Check mark was a sentence that was written correct. After that she put them to test by handing them a paper where they could write four sentences and choose one that was good and one that was bad so that she could tell if anyone had any trouble with distinguishing seen and saw in sentences. They wrote their good and bad sentences on a website called "Today's meet", I remember she had used this method before and I think it's very affective. It's like communicating through facebook. I believe it's fun for the students and I've seen that the children enjoy being on the laptops.

My coworker "Chase" has been telling me to see this movie that he and his girlfriend had seen a long time ago, it's called " Real Women Have Curves". He mentioned to me that he enjoyed the movie very much and recommends me to see it immediately. I managed to see a glimpse of the movie and I did not like it, only because the parents of the main character are idiots. They don't want their daughter to go to college but to work in a factory. The main character "Anita" is a marvelous student who managed to go to Beverly high school and graduate from there, being from a poor family, and a poor neighborhood. I was impressed by how much the girl had achieved but not about the parent part. Every child should have the guidance and support in everything the child wants to achieve. It makes me so angry when parents do not let their children try to become better people. There was something that absolutely bothered me about the movie, there was a part where the father was finally thinking about letting their daughter go to college but the mother protested that Anita should work and work and only work because that's all she ever did when she was a little girl. She had also added that a women should only need to know how to cook, clean and bear children. The mother obviously was miserable through out the whole movie I saw part of. Why would you want your child to live the same life when the opportunities of living a better life was right in your face. Well I'm not going to see the rest of the movie because I do not want to see the unreasonable type of parents Anita has. They make me angry. Anita's mother had also said that it is unfair that Anita could live a better life than she had lived. ANITA'S MOTHER IS A HORRIBLE PERSON!!!!!! UGHHH

I left early from school and started my journey to the middle school. I can tell you right away that it was hot! Good thing I had two water bottles and I could feel a little breeze as I was power walking to the middle school. As I walked in Ms. Carney's classroom every child had a laptop. They were writing in "TodaysMeet" which is a website similar to texting. It's pretty cool that when Ms. Carney writes a question every student receives it, and who even answers back, everyone can also see it. Today I guess they took the NJ ASK test. I noticed most of the messages Ms. Carney asked were about the questions and the writing part of the test. Most of the children did not remember but some did. The ones who remembered mentioned that they wrote an essay and only had 30 minutes. Also that Shakyra(student) had used simile in her writing. Shakyra added that the language arts part of the test was less difficult for her but the other students had more difficulty with the material who did not have Ms. Carney. I thought it was awesome that this student sees the difference between her and the other students on tests and in Ms. Carney's teaching. I already knew that Ms. Carney's teaching was very effective and very attention grabbing. Ms. Carney once again let technology come into the classroom. She used the smartboard like last time so that the students could make the arrow spin on the graph. One graph had "explanatory topics" and the other "writing techniques". The explanatory pie had topics like person you admire, experience with peer pressure, your favorite place to eat, etc...The writing techniques pie consisted of create a hyperbole, create an alliterative title, create an idiom,etc... This time the students had to write about themselves. Ms. Carney had mentioned that the student would be writing an essay about themselves. I think it's a great idea when you ask the students to write about themselves because it gives them the opportunity to express themselves and let others know who they are. Every student loves to tell everyone what they like and who they love, things they want to achieve,and who they want to be in the future. Ms. Carney is an excellent teacher who makes learning so much more enjoyable and in a modern way. Keep up the good work Ms. Carney I'm glad your my sponsor.

A quote that I absolutely think is very inspiring is “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” This quote is true to me and I believe that many people should live their lives rather than become walking sticks. Usually there are people who live the same thing over and over again. They're just breathing,eating, walking and not actually living a life full purpose. People who care about their life will end up doing something that will help the world become more moving. Humans make this world up and it exists only because we do. If humans did not exists no one would give the world appreciate and existence. Therefore, people should not worry about what the world needs because what it truly needs is people who make it come alive.

Speaking about synonyms I need to use more of them. I usually just use words like said, had, would, boring words that need some spice to them. I read over an old essay today that I had written for psychology class. It was a story that I made up. As I was reading I realized that it was simply boring. I hated how I just made everything so plain. Words like blurred out, spin, yelped, ravishing, foxy, was exactly what I needed for my story to be more interesting. I regret writing it the way I did. I received a B only because it was on the topic it needed to be but it needed more creativity. I believe maybe my written has become so plain is because I never really get to write creative papers in school. I remember in the middle school and elementary school I use write stories about flowers, monsters, magic and princesses. Now I only write about debates, research papers, essay on questions like on World War II, the holocaust, Macbeth, if addiction is considered a disease. Although these are all important things to know and write about. I have not come across a time when I could write about something creative and just be loose, while still having things in order and correct. I miss them old days but that's life, we all have to grow up and leave behind the child in us.

Today I went to see my sponsor. Every student was working on their work. Today Ms. Carney was going over a worksheet. The worksheet said name three synonyms for "said".Secondly create a setting detail that uses figurative language about a hot day and going to sleep at night. Some students raised their hands and replied blurred out, bummed, yelled, screamed. For creating a detailed setting some said the sun felt as if it were melting me, the sun was so hot it exploded, etc.. I thought many of their answers were very creative. The third question was What's confusing the reader in this story? The passage was "Ahhh, it's too much to worry about." cried Christopher. I wonder if I want to go to the sleepover or to the baseball game. Choice A was the writer switches tenses from past to present. Choice B was the writer switches from 3rd person to 1st person point of view. Many chose choice B, which was correct. I was impressed by how much these fifth grade students know. After that worksheet Ms. Carney handed out a skit. To my amaze it was on "The Last Song" which is a movie that has just come out featuring Miley Cyrus(Hannah Montana). She showed the trailer to the students and explained the skit to them. Ms. Carney was about to do the things she does on the smartboard to choose parts for her students but I had to leave because of softball. I'll get the feedback next Monday.

I want to start off by saying that Disney World was great and I loved it. Epcot was by far my favorite park out of all of the parks in Disney World. The reason why it is that I love Epcot was because it's rides and presentations made me think and wonder. When Sindy and I entered Epcot we rode a ride towards the entrance and it was awesome. The ride was a two seater and it was similare to a train. First it went upward and as we were going up the walls were twinkling stars and full of darkness. I could hardly see Sindy beside me. As it's moving a voice comes from a screen that lights up in front of us. The voice explains that as years pass by things change and develop. The first scene after the stars is a cave man trying to kill a Mammoth and little by little we reach other scenes like man coming up with the alphabet, poetry and literature, science and history. It was very educational and when we finished with the ride we went on another one. It was not exactly a ride but it kind of was. Well it was like a presentation, it was about hurricanes and how to prepare your home for bad weather. The computerized presentation would ask us what type of nails, doors, windows, tiles and the shape and distance of the roof. It asked many things but when we finished answering every question our votes were put to test. The house we built was put to test as we the audience were in the storm as well. Somethings worked and some did not. The things that did not work was explained to us why that was. My connection to this was that rides and presentations like these are useful for field trips for schools. I did not expect that Epcot would be so educational. Epcolt is for sure a perfect park to take students to learn something while still being entertained. I definitely learned a lot and things that were interesting.

I've been thinking about what's after High School and I'm excited, nervous, worried and ready. I seem to feel all mixed up. I know what I want to do and where I want to be but as I get closer to my destination I tend to doubt what I think I want. Success is something that I know I have definitatly reached. In two months I'm going to graduate and it's off to the real world. It's wierd how time has pasted by so fast and I've realized that many of the things I've worried about in my life, like makeing friends, clothes, dances, are dumb stuff that you can find anywhere. The people who still care about stuff like that, I wish you all luck and I hope one day you will open your eyes to things that are really important. I guess some people never grow up. Well real world here I come.

I never thought I was loved so much. At times I feel alone but I've always had someone hold my hand through everything. It's weird that my life has never really been bad to the point where it ruins my life. There are moments when I wish I could just disappear, but now I see I was exaggerating because everything I've gone through was never really horrible. My life is good and I should not whine at all. My mom loves me and so do many other people. Love is something I know I will always and forever have no matter what. I love everyone and everything in my life. I'm grateful for this marvelous life. Something I should do is keep my cool and keep going. No whining or crying over stupid nonsense that can be fixed. As long as I'm loved and supported I feel as though I have nothing to worry about.

Friday, Mr. Maggi showed us a video on YouTube that really opened my eyes to my research paper. The video I think was called "A Vision of K-12 Students Today" which was trying to inspire teachers to use technology in engaging ways to help students develop higher level thinking skills. I thought it was awesome. Mr. Maggi was also talking about how in the old days to look for a book people had to pull out a catalogue that was about 5 feet long. I never really noticed the changes or how much learning had actually changed until I started researching and wondering about it. Today I read an article on how students at a young age are not told about intelligence and the meaning of it. They just learn and feel as though their pace and amount of knowledge is through age and can not develop or grow. Therefore, they do not improve in grades because they are convinced that they can not get smarter or develop new skills. My psychology class has definitely helped me better understand the mind since right now were learning about intelligence. I mostly like this class because I can relate it to my life and other things that I want to know more about.

Today was a busy day and it stayed that way until the end of the day. I arrived late to my sponsor's but I had already advised her that I would be late today. Like usual Ms. Carney had her students working and today they were working on computers. I asked Ms. Carney if she lets the students use computers often and she replied that she tries to as much as she can. She had asked me if it was easier reading from a website on a computer or reading from a book. I replied that I liked reading from a website but the sides always have something to distract you. I had also mentioned to her that I was doing my research paper on technology with education. She had mentioned that she only had a little bit of training with the technology they presented to her in the classroom. I was glad that she knew that technology is very important to incorporate in her teaching. In my mind when I walked in the class I felt like my research paper was just as I was describing and picturing when I was writing it. I had proven my research paper to myself through Ms. Carney's answers to my questions and just the mere sight of all the students typing, browsing, searching, and clicking. They were reading articles off of websites and making power points. It was quite odd that Ms. Carney saw the importance of technology when not all teachers could see the great and wonderful use of technology. Ms. Carney asked the whole class if it's harder to work on computers and programs rather than worksheets and books. Only 4 raised their hands out of 16 kids that it was harder to use computers. I was impressed by how many students thought computers were better and easier to understand. It sucked that I had to leave early because of softball practice but I really liked today, because I felt what I was trying to prove was right in front of my face.

On Monday I started softball and I had no idea what I was doing or any of the positions of softball. I've seen people play the sport but I never really understood it. It was pretty hard knowing where to go or what to say, but not impossible. I was pretty proud of myself that I went through the whole practice without stopping or thinking about quitting. I realized today at practice that I needed to pay more attention and see if I was doing the right thing. Therefore, I asked Ms. Jones to tell me when I'm doing something incorrect because if she does not tell me I will never better myself. Just like checking your grades. You need to know what type of grade you have in each class to know where to improve. Being unaware of yourself in any type of thing like sports, school, or even your job is very bad. If no one tells you your doing something incorrect then how will you ever improve? Moreover, students although they're doing the homework or taking the test, you have no idea if it's an A or an F. Just like softball you might be doing all the stretches, and warm ups but you have no idea if you suck at this sport and need improvement.

In my psychology class today we were discussing ways of disciplining. A topic we ran through was punishment and discipline. Punishment sometimes does not work as much as discipline, some might say because punishment makes the child angry or makes them do it again. Most often their are no good results out of punishment. Discipline is more involved with leaning and teaching them something in a correct way.

Mr. Maggi had explained to us that there are different forms of disciplining a student. One example he shared was how Mr. M always talks to the student when they have been acting out in class. Mr. M is the type of person who wants to know the student's side of the story when they have been written up by a teacher and figuring out what it is that is making them act the way they are. Then he gave us another example, Coach Cellars, who would deal with a student with no communication at all and avoidance. There is a big difference between the type of people Mr. M and coach Cellars are. They both seem to deal with things differently.

Something else we had discussed was that it's much more better that teachers teach differently with variety and show a type of relationship with their own students. OHHH and something he had also added was that teachers need to realize that your relationship with students depend on you. I do not remember the name of the other teacher but this teacher Mr. Maggi had brought up had a problem with a certain student but it was totally his problem. This teacher had make fun of a student and so the student made fun of him as well. Therefore, making fun of each other had gotten serious and so this teacher would write him up everyday. Mr. Maggi had told this teacher that of course students who are being made fun of by a teacher would say something back. This teacher was provoking this student to act a certain way. I believe that each teacher has to set boundaries and certain standards that they want followed by being upfront when the teacher first starts their classes or else the students will walk all over you.

Monday was a great day. Everything was as planned and today although I did not do much in Ms. Carney's class I was able to observed the students. Today the class was going over a test they had taken on Friday. Ms. Carney like usual showed much enthusiasm and understanding towards them. She explained the questions that most of the students had scored wrong. One question that most of the pupils had wrong was figuring out what the topic of an article is. Ms. Carney broke down to them that identifying the topic of an article was by looking at the title and whatever picture accompanied the passage. She also added that reading the passage was not even necessary. Most of the kids were like OHHHHHHH I KNEW THAT!! I found it very funny and amusing how children can be.

After that she had given a paper to the students called the "Anticipation Guide" where it contained statements stating whether if an article needed the things mentioned in each statement. On one side of the paper it said BEFORE and under it asked if the statement stated was true or false. The other side was the AFTER where it also asked if the statement was true or false. This paper was formed like this because first she wanted to see what the students thought about these statements before even teaching them about what articles consists of. Since she knew most of the children were shy to say their answers she made them close their eyes and raise their hands when she asked if one of the statements were true or false. Therefore, she noted down how many were true and how many were false.

I thought it was a great idea so that when she does the after part of the " Anticipation Guide" she will be able to know if there is a difference in what they have learned and if she has to change something about her way of teaching so that they can better understand. I will not be able to see what her results will be tomorrow but I will ask her on my next field trip. I really hope that all of the students will improve.

A way that I relieve stress is by putting Beethoven or Mozart on, lay on my bed, let my imagination take me, and open my window for some fresh air. Turning off the lights also helps me relax. Another way that I relieve my stress is by decorating pictures. I have no idea why I feel calm when I'm decorating something. I believe maybe it's because I let go of everything and let my ideas flow everywhere. Stress is something I always seem to have and even just imagining myself on my bed and listening to Mozart tend to make me feel better, it's surely difficult to concentrate but I get there some how. When I hug someone or someone hugs me I tend to feel at ease and loosen up. Including getting compliments on something that I did , that definitely makes me relax.

On Friday I left at 5pm to go to Pennsylvania at a retreat. When I arrived I went directly to sleep since it had taken about 4 hours to get there. As we arrived closer to our destination I had noticed that the retreat was in the middle of no where. Technology was not allowed and God was suppose to be the one and only thing to be talked about and kept in mind. The next day I woke up my group had to go to the chapel to hear Andy preach about God. After he was done talking about the lesson he had came up to my group and stayed after to talk to us and as he was discussing his work ethics he mentioned that coming up with lessons that relate to the teenagers who come to the retreat is difficult and especially to get them interested in it. The next day he did another lesson and he started the same way. I noticed he taught with enthusiasm and then at the end of his lecture he was serious and went straight to the point of his lecture. Andy also mentioned that speaking to a large group is complicated because the main purpose is for everyone to understand. I truly did learn a lot about how preaching is so much similar to teaching. In preaching you have to come up with a lesson to explain to your students and so do teachers. They both need to come up with ways to speak to their audience in a way that gets your point across about what your teaching. One lesson I really did like was one where he told a story from the bible where a king had made a new god and wanted everyone to praise the idol. The king invited everyone to come and bow down to the idol. Three teenagers refused to bow down and stood when everyone had bowed down. The king was furious and wanted them to be killed. Therefore, they were thrown in a furnace but did not die. They walked in the fire and another person was seen with them walking in the fire. The king wondered why they did not die in the fire and so called them out. The three teenagers told the king they did not die because they believed and would only praise their one and only god which was God. The king saw that maybe this god was truly a God. Therefore, he announced that everyone has to believe and praise God or else you will be punished. The point Andy wanted to get to us was that we have to stand up for what we believe and to stand out even if it's difficult. Andy also said that denying God or not standing up for him when someone is cursing him is not a Christan at all. If you truly do believe you will take part in his work. For example, getting others to believe in God, stand up for others, and treat others with love and forgiveness. Being a christian is more than just believing it's living in a Godly way.

Nelly Furtado is a wonderful singer who has many songs
that I love. One song that absolutely captures my attention is "In God's hands" which is a song that describes a relationship that is fading due to the lack of respect for themselves and their love. Although it's fading aways it's going back to the person who is the founder and creater of love which is God. A part of the song goes...

We didn't respect it
We went and neglected it
We didn't deserve it
But I never expected this
Our love floated out the window
Our love floated out the back door
Our love floated up in the sky to heaven
It's part of a plan
It's back in God's hands
Back in God's hands

No that their love is gone, she wishes their relationship would've lasted longer. Even if they had it back she knew that they did not understand what they had. It's better of if it's given back.


It didn't last
It's a thing of the past
Oh we didn't understandJust what we had
Oh I want it backJust what we had
Oh I want it back
Oh just what we had

The one and only person who inspires me every single day of my life has always been my lovely mother. She listens, takes care of me, loves me and wishes me the best all the time. Of course any other mother would do the same but my mother is very understanding and kind to me. I love her most because she has a good heart and she helps everyone in the need of guidance. It's odd that sometimes I feel so undeserving of such a wonderful person. I appreciate her, love her, cherish her and all I ever want to do is make her happy all the time. She's been so strong for me and everyone who has ever needed someone to be strong for them. I've seen mothers come to my house to talk to my mother to obtain some assistance on raising their own children. Although I was not a perfect daughter I was raised just right. My mother always told other mothers that love has to do much with children being better people. Also understanding was something that all children want from their parents. My mother always showed me she loved me and understood me, that is why I feel that I'm a good person. I feel good about myself because I care about everything. And I'm very conscious about the things I do. I do not like to lie and if I do my conscious kills me. Therefore, she raised me very well because children who do not care about anything or do not feel any guilt about the bad things they do. Those kids do not love or care about anything not even themselves.

My favorite quote has always been that " Happiness is a journey not a destination" because it made me see that its not where you end up in life, it's the growth and memories that make you realize how good of a life you've had. For example, a business man works hard to have a successful business, obtain money, create new ideas and in the end his time will end and his only idea of happiness was just the result of his happiness not the process. Where will that money go, the hard work, the effort? The process of his success or his idea of happiness was suppose to be the journey through his happiness in his life. Rather than making a destination to happiness he shoulder smiled everyday because his life was already good. He should have already been happy because of his journey through his life. Life can not be seen as a plan,destination or end result. Unexpected things happen and those are the times when you have to cherish and grow in the moments of unpredictable paths. Life is not a game or a planner in your black berry. Life is full of twists and turns. Sometimes you'll find that wanting to be happy is like a chasing a butterfly, when you do not have to chase anyone or anything to be happy, it's there already. All one has to do is look around and be thankful. Nothing is ever perfect or horrible. I have always thought that I needed to have money or fame to be happy. I needed to satisfy my craving for satisfaction of attention and love. I had a plan to become famous and be filthy rich so I could achieve my destination to happiness. Happiness was already there, my family, friends, memories, experiences, and dreams. God gave me a wonderful life. I was healthy, loved, talented, and had a clean life. Every bad moment made the good things even better. My life was a gift that was beautiful. I was blessed with opportunities and privileges. What more did I need? My journey was full of smiles, tears, laughs, mistakes, achievements, failures. Happiness is the definition to my journey. Happiness can only been realized if the person has gone through everything mentioned. Appreciation has much to do with happiness and dealing with the bad times. Therefore, enjoy life and every aspect of it.

I'm positive I will be seeing my sponsor every Monday. Walking to my sponsor's location is great for me. It is not far away at all. I think from LHS to LMS it's about a 15 minute walk. I have already meet with my sponsor and we have come to the conclusion that Mondays work best because that is when she starts new lessons. Mondays are awesome for me too because that is also when most of my classes also begin new lessons and work. Therefore, both of us would be refreshed and ready to start something new. So far my experience with my sponsor and her teaching has captivated my interest. I believe she teaches very well and observing and being a part of her class has much for me to learn from. Hopefully I will gain many ideas and share my ideas as well with Ms. Carney(SPONSOR).

The Lovely Bones as I read was a movie filled with inspiration and sadness.