Friday, Sasha and I came home and noticed our friend Jessica had came to visit us. Jessica had just givin birth to a baby and came to show us her adorable little girl. She was beautiful of course, but Jessica did not seem completely happy. Jessica confessed to us that she no longer was going to school anymore. We asked her why and she replied that it was to difficult when her boyfriend did not want to take responsibility for the baby and her mother advised Jessica she had to take full responsibility of the baby since she decided to me a mother. Therefore, Jessica did not graduate, had no support, was jobless, and had a baby to take care of. I never thought that Jessica would ever be in a situation like the one she's in. I had no idea either that Jessica would have to be worrying about rent, money, and diapers at the age of 17.
I ran into one of my old friends at a near by store. To my surprise this Ludy(18) was having another child from a different guy. I thought one was enought since she couldn't even take care of herself. When I was a freshman, Lundy(15) was a sophomore. I loved playing with her. She was the goofy kind of friend that made everyone laugh all the time. Well that same year she came up to me and told me she was no longer going to play soccer anymore because she was pregnant. Tears rolled from her eyes seeing she was no longer going to be able to chill with us at practice or go to school anymore. I did not understand much about being a mother or a clue how they felt. The stuff she was going through was something I knew nothing about. Lundy tried to come back to school before, but was way behind and her mother had ditched her and her siblings because her mother was frustrated with the amount of children she already had. Their stories and life experiences as being teenage mothers at a young age terrifies me. There are few teens who become successful when they have kids to take care of.
I had a cousin who had a "Quince", which is a party your parents make for you with a huge cake, candy, a crown for the princess, a thrown, and a swing that symbolizes their childhood. That same year she revealed to her parents that she was pregnant. My uncle was really disappointed by her news and he was mostly angry with her so he did not want to help my cousin with the baby. Her boyfriend was there for a while, but soon left her and she was no longer going to school. My cousin dropped out and began to work to take care of the baby. She explained to me she was nowhere close to being ready to have children and wishes that she should have waited to have sex. I was also dissapointed at the with my cousin and my friends. They had good lives and they were smart in school. I did not understand why it was they decided to be parents if they new what risks they were taking. I realized that these were kids who were having kids. I'm not ready for what they're going through or the responsibilities of a baby. I have much to learn and I wish all the luck to teen age mothers.
What a thoughtful article. I particularly like the way that you don't judge teen moms, but rather you indicate this is the course you would and could never follow. We have two moms in our class, and I'm amazed at their resilience. Both will undoubtedly go on to have sucessful lives.
ReplyDeleteI fear though that for every teen mother who holds it together because they have a support system, there are maybe a dozen who have their lives sadly spiral out of control. My wife and I waited until we were thirty to have kids, and that was after four years of marriage - four years of saving and emotionally preparing. We each had college degrees and steady jobs.
I was so much wiser at thirty than I was at eighteen.